---OniNEKOx3

2010-02-02T10:56:00.000-08:00

I lie in my bed,
Images of you run in my head.

Tears rush down my cheeks,
Memories of you make me weak.

I can't help but to weep,
Therefore I cry myself asleep.

And when I awake,
I feel my heart break.

Still under the cover,
Knowing you're not here with me.

Holding back my tears,
Wishing you were here.

I thought you were the one for me,
But I guess it wasn't meant to be.

Getting ready for the pain to start,
Smiling to cover my broken heart.

Crying inside all day,
Wondering why would all this happen.

Still in my heart will be,
A special place for you and me.

2009-12-13T13:15:00.000-08:00

Finally get to see my baby after 5 days!
Roar~ Stupid reservice... haii~
But anyway, am now successfully get a job again! whoohoo! xD
But next year than will start working.
Will be working as receptionist... xD
1st time working as that.. sure it'x gonna b difficult for me..
But the pay is gd... moreover I'll only be working on weekdays...
In that case i got more to spend with my baby... x3

While he was preparing, I was playing away with his guns..
Real gun? Nah~ It'x a toy gun! lol~
Amazing is that he go and customize it till it look like as if it'x a real gun... lol
He still got alot more but so far i only love his M16... lol'x...

After he's done preparing, we headed down to town area n have our dinner at shokudo..
It'x one of the best japanese restaurant I've been...
Love the foods over there~ weet!

Orange juice and green tea

Fish fillet with jap

tokyo-style clam chowder (Dont order this.. ==)
Ham & cheese omellet

menace beef with jap curry

quail egg with bacon and beef with vegs(Cant rmb the name..)

Lols... we order too much in the end cant finish all the foods, but it was so delicious~
Yum~ Actually wanna call for a dessert de... But both of us were totally bloated..
Shall order lesser food next time, so that can get dessert! woot!

After done with our dinner, we went for a walk ard~
And while walking, we shall this 2 funny guyx n one hot babe..
Check out their suit..

Lol'x!!! we keep wanting to walk infront n see how they look like de...
Baby and I were keep looking at them walking ard giving flyer or broucher away...
Must b super ambressing to wear like this walking around in town><
That's why they were wearng sunglasses to cover their face.. =x

Slowly we walked down to ps n catched a movie...
Storm warrior 2.. It was nice but for me too mani animation...
not as nice as the 1st episode...
If you concentrate watching it, actully you'll catch the meaning of the story..
Just that it's kinda complicated.. Lol'x...
After watching finish the show, we took a cab home.
1st time in my life, seeing a accident infront of me.
we were at the crossroad, Than by rite it was red light le but a motorbike just suddenly
dashed out and our side here was green light, so the car started to drive.
In the end, the car bang onto the motorbike and both the rider and pillon fly away!
It was totally scary... both of us and the driver were shocked!
o.o" Hope both the girl, which is the pillon and the rider is fine.
But baby told me that he'x leg most prob is break or fractured le... cox after that,
he start to slowly crawl to the girl, but the girl was sitting over there and wiping her legs.
After seeing that, I told baby plx dun get a bike..
At least if u gt a car, than (touch wood) gt into accident, there'll b covers to protect u,
whereas for bike, is fly n might die.
Scary~ *sigh
When he reached home, I was on the way home, I saw another accident again.
But this time, there's one dead body with the police tant covering it...
Horrible~ Even the car'x front and glass were toally dented and flat...

Feeling sad worried bout the girl.. Though I don't know her..
Please guys~ Don't speed anymore and drive carefully...
there's nothing more important than you yourself n your life...
If you lost your life, how are u gonna spent the rest of your life with your love ones?

Gonna sleep now~
Oyasumii~

2009-12-02T12:05:00.000-08:00

I make this solemn promise to you:

To be your lover when you need to be loved,
your doctor when you are ill,
your army when you go to war,
your umbrella when life rains down on you,
your rock when you get weary,
your shield when you need defense,
your spirit when you are drained,
your pillow when you need to rest,
your voice when no one can hear you,
your ear when no one will listen,
your comfort when you feel pain,
your hero when you are under duress,
your sunshine when darkness falls,
your answer when questions arise,
your inspiration to overcome obstacles,
your hand to hold when you are frightened,
your kiss that wakes you everyday,
and your "I love you" each and every night.

I am yours... all of me.

Baby,
21mths we've been together le... ^^
All I asked for is nothing but a favor,
"Stay With Me Forever"

2009-11-20T10:31:00.000-08:00

Been coughing non-stop since after Elaine's birthday...
Now my stomach is starting to hurt alot..

But thanks to my dearest baby wuii for loving and caring for me,
and my family who's been looking after me
am starting to recover abit by bit le.. ^^
Nowadays life's been same for me, resting, playing audition, checkin facebook
and finding jobs.
Yea~ now am jobless again~ sian...
But anyway next year I'm going back to study with Elaine.. ^^
After been working here and there, still think that study is the best.
At least you'll only be stress and bothered exams and homework.
But as for work, boss will be watching over your shoulders, workers will be using you,
have to look at customer's face and etc.
But there'x pros and cons in both.
Anyway, in singapore in order to survive, you'll need a cert.
Everywhere u go, people will always ask you for your cert as a prove.
For me, I only have my N level.
So wish to upgrade myself. As least in the future, I'll be able to get a better job and
higher pay.. ^^

This few days have been seeing my baby~
pass 2 days finally see him in his army uniform..
Lol~ It's cute in him na~~ xD
After we reach his house, he told me he was exhausted after coming back from camp.
So he went to bath and I went to surf my facebook~
When he finish bathing, he went to lie down on his bed playing his psp.
Than I switch off his com and went to join him and start to snuggle and cuddle him~ =3
Slowly we close our eyes and went into lala land~

(Joke of the day)
While I was asleep, I keep hear baby was mumberlin but I just ignore it...
Cox he often talks when he sleeps~
Than~ suddenly he shake me damn hardly!!!
Saying :"BABY BABY!!!"
Me:"Huh?"
Baby:"Ah moon ask you to buy beancurd for her.."
Me:"HUH?!?!"
Baby:"Heh Heh~~~~"

Than he went back to sleep.
I just couldn't stop giggling away after wat he's just said t me..
LOLOLOL!!!
When he woke up I told him bout what just happen than he started to laugh away at himself.
Keep asking me "got meh~ gt meh~~~" ==
Ahhhhhh~~~~~ Baby ah~ always talks in the sleeps~~ xD
Heh Heh~~ but that'x what I love in you~~! ^^
MUACKZ~
Now we're keep asking each other away who the hack is that ah moon~
Lol~

2009-11-16T05:28:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ELAINE CHENG!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ELAINE CHENG!!

Happy Birthday To You, Happy Birthday To You,
Happy Birthday To Elaine~
Happy Birthday To You~~~~~

Happy 19th Birthday!! ^^ Muack'x...
Times flies so fast~~ Now we've known each other for 7 yrs le...
Still remember last time in Yuhua Sec the 1st time we saw each other? xD
I was so lost cox 1st day in a new school than I don't who to talk to.
Than when we sat down in the class, you were sitting behind me.
The teacher asked us to introduce ourselves, after I've introduced myself,
than to your turn, I turn back and smile to you saying hi.. =)
recess time, I asked if I can join u and u say : " ke yi ar." ^^
that's how we started to know each other.
Than~ Slowly we starting to become more and more slack till even "tao xue" with meh meh..
LOL! seriously I'll never forget the day how we tao xue sia... lmao!
It never fail to make mi laugh... xD
Climbing the fans jux bcox don't want to get caught by the security guard or~
Miss Lee!!!(The angry fierce "MU LAO HU" female lion)
Hahahahaha!

The days we go to Kbox tgt, you, meh meh and me. haha...
Keep singing S.H.E songs. Oh! ger... Remember you always ban yan as who ma? ^^
Elaine:"selina" Jabbie a.k.a MehMeh .a.k.a Silver "Hebe" and Me "Ella" =.="
lol~

lmao... this was one of the pic we took before going into Kbox~ yeah~~
Huge difference of the last time us and now... xD

Than after we finished our secondary school, the 3 of us went to different ITE.
='( Haii... Than slowly we're not like last time that stick to each other anymore
as you and me have our own ting's to do.
But I'm really glad that till now, from my 13th bdae till now, you've never failed to celebrate with mi once.
Thanks so much my dearest babe.. <3

This was taken on~~~~16? or 17th birthday... lol'x...
That's where I introduced Lester, Sotong, Doggy. Sam, and Arthur to you.
Lol... That was so much fun~ xD

Oh! I remembered that time on your 17 or 18th birthday,
before meeting you, Sam, Sotong and me went to bought a birthday cake for you.
LOL! I cant forget the expression on your face~ xD
cox the design is 1 0 on the cake... =x Don't blame me~
It was Sam's idea... Lol'x... I remember that time we did took pic of that and
that day tgt de... But i cant find those pics anymore... =s
Oh well... *shrugs*

Slowly~~~~~~

Now we're both 19 le...

Both of us have changed alot~~~

Now it's your birthday again~~~

Let's see how we look like now~~~

LOL...! yap... that'x the naughty and cheeky us.. LMAO!

When we reach ph, I was kinda susprised when you introduced a girl to me

Don't know why my eyes look so drousy... =s
I didn't know there so many girls who's name is Ferlyn too... ^^
But she's so cute!!! xD
Hope you enjoyed your 19th birthday ^^

Special Message To My Beloved Elaine Cheng A.k.a Bimbo Cheng:

hey babe~
I'll never forget all the fun and memorable times we had throughout all this year..
You've taught me alot and whenever I'm down, you've never failed to be there for me.
I believe in the past you've heard other people talk thing's behind my back,
creating Anti-Ferlyn in friendster and what others have done to me.
But yet, you always stand up for me and stay by me side.
Thanks so much.
In this world, no one can ever replace you in my heart as my bestfriend. ^^
Even if i were to lose all my friends, I'll never want to lose you.
You're the only girl who knew me the best, can joke and plays around with and
always give me the advice that I needed.
There's nothing I can asked from u but you to stay happy, carefree, cheerful,
beautiful, and happy-go-lucky always...
LOVE YOU! MY BESTEST FRIEND ELAINE!! ^3^ muacks...

P.s: Suddenly after writing all this, feel like crying.. x.x
Don't cry after reading all this hor elaine!! =x
and to BEVAN TAN!!!!!!!!!!! Take good care of Elaine and hor~ don't you bully Elaine!
If not, I'll ask my cat to come bite u~ xD
My blessings to the both of you... =D

2009-10-28T14:48:00.000-07:00

Nowadays my emotions are swinging super badly.
At times I didn't want to show my feelings out it's because I didn't want
those who love and care for me to worry about me.
But deep down in me, I'm crying, bleeding and tearing apart.

Who will ever see the effort that I'm trying to do in my life?
Who will be there to pull me up when I fall down?
Who will even know about my existance or even care?

For the 1st time, I can feel the pain and cuts in my heart.
I wanted to cry it out, throw all my feelings out and
being like a crazy girl shout out all my feelings.
But the tears just won't come out. The pain just wouldn't come out.
My heart is tearing apart.
It's just seems that whatever I do, I can never be the girl in your heart.
I can never change myself to suit into our world.

Thinking back, sometimes I really feel that, is it a mistake that I appear in your life?
If I didn't, you wouldn't have to go through all this suffering and all this pain.
Neither you wouldn't have to cry so much over me.

I never say that we didn't had any good times at all.
But when I think about all my wrongdoings, maybe you're right.
I'm the one whose most of the time who always makes mistake that causes us to quarrel.
If only I learn how to keep to my words, remember every single words I've promised you, stop all my stupidity acts and not being so forgetful, all this wouldn't have happened.

There's so many things that I wanted to pour it out, but it just don't want to come out from
my heart. Neither there's any words that can express my feelings but only to bear with the pain.
At times I've just lost myself, going back to the girl who will lock herself in the room, not wanting to see anyone, don't wanna be touched by anyone,putting everything all aside and curl up in a corner and starting to cry.
You might say I'm like a retard being like this or I'm a crazy girl. But all this I can't control.
When I started to break down, neither I myself can control myself.
Let time heal the cuts that's in my heart.

I'm sorry.

Wish to be in your arms now. Hearing you say "Baby, I love You."

2009-09-26T11:24:00.000-07:00

In my path, all I see is nothing but darkness.
Where's the ones who use to say they'll always stay by my side?
Where's the one who use to love me?
Where's the brightness I use to see in my life?
I'm all alone in this endless road.
I'm totally lose in confusion.
All I see is people in disguise, I do not know who are them.
what are them.

As I walked alone in this lonely path, I saw an angel,
Standing infront of me, he held my hand and said.
"Don't be afraid, as I'm here for you.
To guide you through your life. To be with you through your life.
If the world's going to forsake you, I'll be the last one to let go of you."
As he guide me through my life, than I realize that those who once in my life,
most of them were in disguise too.
He taught me so much that I can never learn by myself nor anyone can let me see.
He make me became stronger, learn to be myself.
With him aroud, I got nothing left to fear.
All I fear is only that he'll leave me one day.
But I believe that he won't. because I knew he loved me as much as I do.

In my life, you're all that matters.

In my eyes, you're the only truth I see.

When my hopes have shatttered, you're the only ones still there and care for me.

Till the end of time, you're the only one I need.

Baby, thanks for staying by my side though the road's so turf.

Till Death Do Us Part.

2009-09-23T08:13:00.000-07:00

Hate what I'm having now in my life!!!!
Hate the feelings that's in my heart!!!
Why can't I be like anyone that has a strong and hardless heart?

Like this I won't feel so much pain in life...

Why can't people just appriciate what others have done for them?

Instead of only seeing the bad side of them?

Ever since I start going to outside world and work, I've seen so much nasty and cruel people.

In order to get what they want, they can totally ignore your feelings and even backstab you just

to get their desire.

All I see is nothing but people are using one another.

And as for girls, For God Damn Sake! Why you girls just like to gossip around here and there?!?!

Infront of that person you can smile, joke around and treat her good,

but behind her, actually you're saying so much bad stuff about her.

I mean like, if you dislike her or don't like the things that she's doing, why cant you just have

the courage and tell her? If not, in my eyes you're just a coward...

If were to given me a chance to turn back the clock and to lead my life, I'll rather go back to school and study.

P.s: I'm not born to live up to your expectations... I'm already doing what I can.. I might be blur,

but I ain't retard! Stop commanding me here and there as if I'm a dog!!!

Am now totally moodless, exhausted, and lifeless.. ==

2009-09-04T08:54:00.000-07:00

Recently have just found a new job..

Been sacked on my previous job due to some arguements with the workers over there

and cause late for one day.

I'm getting sick and tired keep changing jobs every now and than.

But I just don't get it why everytime I get a new job, there odd to have people who doesn't

like me, backstab me and going againist me.

I always do what I should do in job and yet it's still wrong.

Anyway thanks to yuki, I got this new job. =)

Currently been working at Holland V, the place's call Earth Element.

It's mostly about manicure, pedicure, nail art n etc.

It's totally new to me, in the past I didn't even thought of working in this line.

But anyway, just giving it a try out.

Though been working for 4 days, I'm totally tired out every night I reached home after work.

But at the working place, it's the 1st time I've met someone being so nice to me.

She'll always teach me what should I do when I forgot, helps me to catch up with my work,

consult me when I get nagged by boss and bought meals for me.

Thank you so much Wendy sweetheart. =)

Life's been kinda meaningless and lifeless for me.

Who doesn't want the life that can enjoy everyday, hanging with friends or their love one and having the free time of their own to do the things they want.

But due to what I'm having now in my life, I can't. There's so many things for me to settle

and for me to plan on.

After the last discussion I had with my baby, I've decided not to spent so much anymore,

and going out lesser.

With the plans we've made for our future, it's gonna costs us quite a bomb.

Neither can I be that selfish always getting things that I want in the end actually it's useless.

Though now I'm 19, but I realize actually I've been acting and thinking like I'm onli 16 or 17.

Even when people outside saw me, they even thought I'm 15 to 17 too due to my baby face. =="

Hope it's not too late to plan for my future starting from now.

P.s: Anyway just wanna share this vid to everyone who's reading my blog. Thanks yuki. =) It's really nice.

2009-08-18T12:42:00.000-07:00

Totally pissed off and disgusted by what's happening now...
Don't try to preach people when you yourself is one of what you're saying about.
Before pointing fingers and start to say about them, reflect on yourself 1st.
At 1st I really thought that family is the only people in this world that I can trust on.
But in the end, now i realize even the people that's close to you, neither can you trust them too.
Not all stuff you can tell them.
I tried to talk to you and consult to you before,
but in the end you tell your friends what I've told you.
Tell me, how can I talk to you, be close to you and be back like last time?
So don't say that I keep hiding things from you.
Cause neither do I trust you like you don't trust me too.

I can no longer trust anyone in this family.
I tried, but failed. No longer wanna try anymore.
At least my baby won't tell anyone about what I've told him.
That's why I rather consult and tell him my things more.
You might suspect that I' doing something illegal or doing something not good,
but rest assure, I'm not. =) That's a 100% guarantee...

P.S: What ever I'm doing, Please... Stop saying that you'll go find my bf to screw him or
he's teaching me bad. Should I say if one day I become a successful person, you'll go
and find him too? I know you dislike him. But don't assume and predict things in your
own way.

2009-08-11T12:51:00.000-07:00

They no longer will feel cold,
For they're in each other's warmth.
They no longer will lonely,
For they've each other in their life.

They no longer be afraid of obstacles in their life,

For they know they have each other for support.

Even if the biggest storm has come, it still won't break them down.

For they're each other's shelther.
They might b in different body,
But in heart, they're link as one.

Boo~ neko is here to blog again~
Life nowaday is kinda bored n routine..
But recently neko is kinda feeling down..
Past few day heard from baby that he's going back to reservice le..
It's so fast loh! == Only ORD for last than a year and he's going to reservice le..
Sob... Wouldn't be able to see him for 1 to 2 wks time..><><
Even if it's only for a few hrs... So long as neko can get to see baby can le.. ^^

Do not compare youself with others. For everyone is different..
Instead of getting jealous and envy about others, why not change yourself? =)
And be a better person..
I'm used to be a person who loves to cry, don't dare to stand up for my right
and always trust people easily though I only knew that person just in one day.
But as time goes by, seeing back the life that I've lead through till now,
only then I realize how much have a been fooled and a idiotic girl.
I regretted that in the past I didn't treasure the people who loves and dote on me.
But from there, I've learned my lesson and started to cherish and love all the people
that's in my live. My family, my friends and my baby..
Hope it's late to mend all my wrong doings..

2009-07-25T13:52:00.000-07:00

Ahh~ finally got my 2 day off! xD

Btw~ To my precious lil baby wuii~

Happi 22th birthday!! =x

Thought didn't do anything happening...

But hope you enjoyed yourself... ^3^ muackx <3

Hmm... got nothing much to post though... But sorry that my blog's kinda dead now... x.x

Will try to post asap when i gt time~ gomen..

Now resting at home for one whole day..

Totally bored na!!!! == My internet's down, got no choice but to borrow my mother's vodafone

to use internet.. grrr~ once i get my pay le, am going to get my own vodafone..

Heh~ at least in the future once I gt my own lappy le, can bring to baby's hse and pla game with him if not when at outside can use too... ^^ keke...

Now baby's friend just open a new tuition centre at bedok le.. Wow... kinda envy him...

Cause it's not easy to fulfill your own dream.. But he did it.. grats lam^^ hope your tuition centre went smoothly and soon can open ano branch ya.. =D

Than now baby's working with him.. whoo~ Director neh~~~ ai seh!! Jia you baby! ^^

But heard from him almost everyday go there is play psp.. =.="

lol~ cox jux open, so now just waiting for teachers to come in for interview..

Next wk will start to give flyers le~

Hmm.. once I gt off, will go help them give flyers de... ^^

Soon they'll start to get busy le ba~

Baby~ please dun tired yourself out yea~~

Wish you guyx all the best ^^

Well~ gotta bounce off~ Yawn~

shall post soon~ chaox peeps~ ^^ *chuus <3

2009-06-22T09:36:00.000-07:00

Recently have been busy working till gt no time for my own..
Things still r going down in my life..
Make it at work or at home..
Always i asked myself.. "What have I done that makes people dislike me so much? Is it wrong to treat someone good but yet being treated like a fool?"
Neither do i know what am I good in, what's my personality, what am I living for..
Seems that i just cant find and know true-self me..
I realized that no matter what kinda job am I in, I just cant blant in with my colleges..
I tried to talk with them, do things that they asked me to, but it seems no use..
Am sick n tired keep being nagged by people..
== Maybe my life's just that sucky..

People always tend to tell me how suck their life is, how stress they are..
But yet, instead of there whining and complaining away how fucked-up your life is,
why not change it to a better life.. You cant expect things always turn out the way you want..

2009-06-03T09:02:00.000-07:00

Sorry if there's alot of foul langauge in the post as i'm really pissed off about my life now.

Fuck the relationship between us! If u love me, you wouldn't even keep ask mi to make up a desicion... Making me under so much fucking pressure...

Comfiscating my phone.. calling all my friends to check on me? FUCK!!! In your eyes i'm forever like a kid... for once can u jux fucking open your eyes and see that i've fucking grown up? Do you fucking know whats the meaning of privacy?

Fuck! can anyone tell me whatx family? I've already taken the word family out of my dictionary...

Keep asking me to be with someone whom i dun wanna be with.. C'mon la! It's me whose gonna be with the one i love b begin a family with not u! what rite to you have to say who is more suitable for me. You're not me to see who's the one for me. If he's so gd inyour eyes, than y not u accept himn be with him?

Promises are meant to b broken. Vows r real. Now u're turning your words back on me, so will i... Don't blame me for the things for i've done as you're fucking drifting me to a corner..

2009-05-08T13:04:00.000-07:00

Gah~ Finally finished with my work le..
Now waiting for 22nd May to reach.. Then I'll b starting to work again...
Lifes been peaceful~ With my baby everything is going smooth ^^ <33

But as for family.. It sucks... There's someone who used to tell me this before.
"A place that u wish to go home to, that's a home."
But... whenever I go out, I realli hate going back home..
Reaching home, people in the house would nag at you, saying nasty things to you, commanding you to do things for them. Would that called as a home to you?
I never live my life to fulfill other's demand or living up to their expectation in life. I don't owe them a living, never did and never will. Though you did do your part in giving birth to me and gaave me a chance to live.
But.. If living in this world, seeing all the cruel and deceving world, than I might as well never been born out.

2009-04-27T09:17:00.000-07:00

I don't remember days; i remember moments.

If I know what is love; it is because of you.

Wui, Ferlyn will be awaiting for the day where we both could walk through the red carpet, helping each other to put on the ring. Me looking into your eyes, saying : "I do."

love remains the same,

cause i was born to love you..

2009-04-26T08:08:00.000-07:00

Sorry peeps that neko been seldom blogging as imma kinda been busy working n drawing.

Anyway, pass few days jux help baby's fwen to pump again. woot'x... am getting abit improvement le... but neko wans more~ more cilent.. After the 1st time i inked on someone, am getting accdicted with the feeling.. It keeps running in my mind.. Keep looking forward for another session for him.. But it's realli hard to get one cilent... =s haiix... hmm Nothing much to blog abt ma live as for this few days it's been a routine~ i'm temp work in a office, helping them to call out to the cilent.. asking them ques n comforming them with things.. after work sometime will go down to ma teacher's hse to tattoo... after that will go home to slp, wake up it's the same ting again~ hope inthe future neko could find more cilents...

GAMBATTE NE~!

2009-04-19T08:30:00.000-07:00

Omg got so mani to post about man! xD

Firstly, FINALLY I GOT MY 1ST CUSTOMER! =3 but sorry that i cant post the pics out as my old phone is spoilt.. ==" Now i'm using a new phone ler... Anyway, my 1st tattoo was pumping onli... pumping white ink in the old tattoo that he used to have. It use to be a dragon. Half lazered tattoo~ =.= lmao~ den he wanna put a new design on his back. no choice but have to pump the old tattoo before we can put a new design. It took mi bout 2 to 3 hrs to pump the tail n wave of the dragon. In the end my hands realli tired and aching, so baby took the other half of it. lolx... It's realli fun and kinda nervious in the 1st place.. But am now kinda addicted to it already.. =x cant wait for another session.. xD

Secondly, HAPPY 20TH BDAE TO ZHIHUA! xD hope u enjoy your bdae celebration on 16th april.. Here'x r some pics that we had fun and crazy all nite! Enjoy.. =3

2009-04-13T12:23:00.000-07:00

mushi mushi~ am back to blog again~ sorry for the late post~ as i'm kinda busy with my own

ting's nowadays.. But anyway, baby today had his 1st ink today! xD At 1st kelvin ask me whether i wanna try it out, but i'm scare.. x.x So baby is the 1st one to try out his new machine..

When keith (baby's 1st client) choose the design tat he wanted, I help him to stencil out the

design, sorry that i stencil till kinda blur and not clear.. =s But hey~ my baby could tattooed it

quite well! xD

When getting ting's prepare, can see baby n keith both are nervous.. especially keith xD scare..

But kuku him keep trying to act cool saying he's feeling okie and ready for it. =x

Here it goes~ the 1st needle down~

---------------------------------

-------------------

---------

----

He was so concentrating on his work till he sweat.. =x
Seeing him tattooing, it really raise the erge in me of wanting to have my 1st ink out too.. =s
Trying to break the fear of mine~~~ SOON! Soon will break it out le.. xD will post my 1st art
and design out once I start on it.. =3

It took him 3 to 4 hrs to finish this art out... nearly fall asleep~ x.x
Well~ worth the waiting.. cos when the art is done, it came out pretty nice and well done.. xD
Nice work baby~ muackx~~ <3

Really looking forward to the day where we can have a shop of ours and a proper place to work at.. But I believe that day's gonna come soon.. with the progress and works we're working towards.. For our dream.. NEKO! gambatte ne~!

2009-04-04T10:36:00.000-07:00

Thing's have been going down fall for mi n my life. Totally speechless, helpless n restless..
Seeing my mother being popular, seeing everyone could have their close friends around them, asking them to go out n etc.
Since young i'm always being cast into a corner. None would approach t me n be friend with me.
I'm always the follower, but not one of their friend.
All i can do is only envy them in one corner.
I ask myself why? Why couldn't i b like one of them? Am i that selfish like people always label me as? I'm not selfish wanting the whole world to be mine. All i wish for is jux someone being there to scrolling my hair, being embraced tightly n feel warm.
At nights i keep having nightmares of my past. Neither do i want to recall them back. But they jux consistencly keep appearing in my dream.

Sometime i wish i could just runaway from the reality n lock myself back into that dark room. All i see darkness, all i hear is slience. Then i could no longer hear all the spiking n hurtful words anymore.

Neither do i want to be a imperfect person that keep runining ppl's life. If i ever did that, here i am. To apologies to u. I'm truly sorry. Forgive me for my mistakes i've caused.

Sorry that i can't be a perfect friend, a perfect girlfriend n a perfect daughter.

2009-03-30T07:01:00.000-07:00

sorry ppl, this few days wun b blogging...
am down with a high fever... 40.2'c...
gonna go get some rest...
take care n stay healthy... =)

2009-03-23T12:42:00.000-07:00

mushi mushi~ phew~ finally can have some time to come n post le..

Anyway~ here to let u see one of my drawing~ (Please dun laugh =s)

Tada~~~~~~~

Nice ma nice ma~? =x actually i draw out a pic of a ribbon bind with bitwire de... there'x a rose
on top of the ribbon. But my shifu said the rose need to improve so he kinda punish me to drew out this rose for him..
Omg~ shag~ took me 2hrs to finish this rose out... =s

Before went to meet baby dearly ytd, was taking mrt down to chua chu kang then to take lrt de.
But don't is which of the mrt i sit, suddenly the back of my leg totally feel itchy. In the 1st place thought it's
Mosquito bite so went to scratch it.. But the itch is getting more n more worst. After I meet up with baby, I ask him to help me take a look.. He was stuned.. cox~

This is what he saw....

He help me to take a pic down when i saw it I was like...

"WAHHHH! SIMI SAI SIO! ><" Omg... don't know it so worst~ till now it's freaking itchy.

But neither can i go scratch it~ scare for scar~ ='( Onli can pat pat or soh soh it now.. =="

Hopefully it'll b better in a few days time~ IT'S KILLING ME~~!! GRRR!

2009-03-20T12:58:00.000-07:00

JA~ sorry so long haven beeN postin anyting in here~

*blow dust n wiping way spider webs~~ *ah chew~ @~@"

OH! btw , hope you guyx like my new blog skin!! ^^

Anyway, recently have been busy working... but~ few days back I got a gd news from arthur

"hey, kel wants to teach you how to tattoo, u interested?"

I was totally stunned when i heard that!

OMG! a dream come true to me na~! Finally i can be a tattoist! xD

But still not so soon yet.. lolx... nowadays will be busy drawing n improving myself~

Neko! GAMBATTE! wanna work hard and earn enough money..!

Baby dearly! for us, neko will jia you and earn lot'za money for our future de! enen! *nod head

Neko realli looking forward and can't wait to b engaged to baby~ stay with him~ etc etc =x

Jux went out with baby to bugis and meet up with kelvin, he explain to us alot of things but..

Tired neh! keep walking ard while chatting~ =_="

After he left, we went for a walk and slack for a few hrs.. Abt 2 we start to head home le..

Ah~ realli don't bear to leave my darling baby~ =( But after sending him home, when i reach my

hse downstair, giving the taxi uncle the money, he gave mi change le, when i close the door.

AHHHHHHHHHHHH~~

THE DOOR KIAP MY THUMB!!!!!! NOW F**KIN PAIN N SWOLLEN NA!

><>

Now the nail blue black le =( Freaking pain~

Shall blog ano time ba~ niida care my poor thumb le =="

Ja ne~ <3

2009-02-17T12:36:00.000-08:00

The sun sets

Upon the golden sand

We sit in hand

We gently embrace

And look into each other's eyes

I wonder if you are

An angel in disguise

You hold me

Like there's no tomorrow

I suddenly forget

The past sorrow

I kiss your soft lips

And you kiss mine

I never knew

Loving someone could be this fine

You pick me up

And carry me to our room

Oh how a love can blossom

And a heart can bloom.

Your touch is so gentle

But your hands so strong

How could a love like this

Ever go wrong?

My heart is beating

200 times a minute

Because my loveYou are in it

The sound of your heartbeat

All through the night

We fall asleep in each other's arms

And wake to the morning light.

I look into your eyes

And this is when

I say "Thank You"

For teaching me to love again.

2009-02-15T01:52:00.000-08:00

Baby, I love you more than you could ever know

. You're my whole world and I'll give my life to save yours.

. Through the good and the bad we always come closer.

. I trust you with my heart, take it and don't break it.

. Being with you is a gift, while loving you is precious.

. Without you, I would have no reason to live.

. I have your name tattooed on my heart.

.You're the only one whom I wanna create my family with

. To watch you sleep is my dream for it is an amazing site.

. I'll never give up on you cox you're my everything.

. I was so scared when you took my heart, but it feels so much better next to yours.

. Loving you is effortless.

. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me.

. Cant you see you're irreplaceable. I'll devote my life to you.

. I miss you every second you're away from me.

. No one can make me smile quite like you do.

. Love me and you shall receive my never ending love in return.

I will never regret any moment I was with you, but i go regret every moment I was without you.

Dearly,
I'll be loving you forever, deep inside my heart you'll never leave me never. Even you took my heart and torn it apart. I would love you still forever.
We've had our fun, we're made mistakes but those who'd have guessed along that road. We'd learn to give and take. It's so much more than I could have dreamed.
'Cause this is a world where loverd often go astray but if we love each other we won't go that way. So put your doubts aside, do what it takes to make it right. 'Cause I'll love you forever no one can tear us apart.

I just want you to know that I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't breath, whenever I'm without you. When we talk, I only talk about you boy.

I love you baby. 1314 <3

Happy Valentines' Day my love.

2009-02-05T04:07:00.000-08:00

No human being is perfect.We all make mistakes. I only mention this because somehow it is so hard to admit that we are wrong. A famous line from the book "Love Story"by Eric Segal states that "Love means never having to say you're sorry". This may sound romantic but it is a really bad line to live by. Apologies are necessary in every relationship. Apologies are building block of relationships. If a relationship has any hope of staying together, there will be frequent and sincere apologies.
Therefore, this public apology post is especially dedicated to my dearest baby for all my wrongdoing things towards HIM.

I never meant to hurt you

the way I know I have.

Your love means more to me than anything

and I'll do whatever it takes to prove it to you.
Since the day I met you and

your love touched my heart

I knew that my life would never be the same.
Please forgive me for the pain

and worries I've caused.

I'll make it up to yiou every chance I get.

You have my heart and my love forever.

Love always,

Ferlyn

2009-02-03T08:03:00.001-08:00

My soul spills into bloody tears of joy,

just looking upon you,your eyes so deep,our love so true,
i wish i could hold your heart till the end of death

and beyond,in the dark eternity mist,but forever is a long time,

even then my you shall have my will in your fist,
you say you will never leave,yet i still worry,

that time will betray us,and this love will turn to furry,
but i love every side of you,even the madness,

so i will try to keep it away,and drive away the sadness,
eternity is a long time away, so i will hold you now,

and if forever comes,you will be there to show me how,
we can overcome the "good"together as one,

always apart of the wickedness,until finality is done,
so as destiny unfurls,and this passion burns,

you will be in me,as the dimension turns,
it cannot be broken,not even by the one(s) above,

it will never end,

our wicked burning love.

Happi 11mth anni my love...

Till Death Do Us Part.

2009-01-11T12:33:00.000-08:00

Alone sitting in the living room. Starting to reminisce about what have happen and slowly tears are flowing down from my eyes. I really hate what's going on in my life. I kept thinking, is there really no way that can solve the problems? I hate to see my baby everytime cause of my problems, in th end he's worried about me, he would be vexed and making him upset too. Why can't me and him just have a peaceful and blissful relstionship like anyone does? I would do anything just to end all this thing. But one thing for sure is that, my life owes to no one, only to my baby dearly.

Don't cause of all the sins I've done, in the end you push all the blame to him. Saying that he taught me bad, he taught me how to talk and changes me to another person. Like i say before, I ain't the girl whom you once knew before. I ain't the lil girl that when you scold or nag at me, I wouldn't make a sound anymore nor will I always let you take control of over things anymore. People do grow up and start to changes, sorry if I've change to someone who doesn't suits you anymore. Love me, I'll love you back. Hate me, you can leave my life. Everyone have their limits to their patience, tolerant and anger. But you're droving me to my climax. In the past, how well I've treated you, that you know yourself. Not 1yr, 2yr, but for the past fucking 10-12 yrs! Now you're comparing to me saying that this 3yrs you've done well? Yea I can see how good you've treated me. I really appreciate what you've done to me. But thanks to my baby, I realize that, you're controlling and using me more than what you've given me. As anyone out there now. Would the mother still confiscate her daughter's phone which her daughter is already 19? Or, strangle her own daughter than in the end, saying she's hurt too for stranggling her? I didn't want you to get crazy nor want you to die, it's you yourself who wanna come bother about my stuff and getting control all the thing's.

If you're trying mess up my life, you'll see what I'll do. =)

All I ever wanted was a mother that would love me. All I ever wanted was to delete and start again. I just wanted her to care be a mother I could approach to and confide with. Now the weeds are overflowing the garden overgrown. she's not a mother I can turn to. She pushes me away. You refuse to see that my wounds have bleed. You refuse to see that I'm almost dead. where are you mom? I'm apart from you. You've have changed someone whom I no longer knew. The generation with no place behind the fake family image. A thousand smiling mom & dads yet I can only envy them. I can't erase you from mistakes that you won't learn. you light the fire I always burn. You don't know & you don't feel there's too much scarring when I bleed too much. Therapy that I need. I want you out. I want you gone.

2009-01-11T09:19:00.000-08:00

THANKS FOR MAKING ME HATE U EVEN MORE

AFTER YOU'RE TRYING TO STRANGGLING ME TO

DEATH...! JUST BECOS I CAME HOME LATE! I'LL

NEVER FORGET WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME. AND,

I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!

2009-01-04T10:18:00.000-08:00

2008-12-29T10:08:00.000-08:00

My mood is outrageous lately, it's totally a disaster There was nothing I could do...However, I feel much better after saying things out and crying it out. Lately thing's have been going bad at home. Me and my mother had a quarrel again. Thanks to her slap, now I hate her even more. She even want to disown me as her daughter. Is it too much just to ask more freedom from her? Whatever things she asked me to do, I'll always do my best to fulfill it. Even people thought that I'm a mama girl who listens to her. But yet, she thinks that I'm a spike in this family who always mess things up. This always runs in my mind. "If in the 1st place, you can't even take care of yourself and everyone wants you to abort me away, why didn't you? And now give birth to me into this world, making use of me, asking me to do this and that. Making me feel that I'm a burden. Is that what you want to see from me? Is it wrong to follow your foot steps? I got my own eyes to see and ears to listen. Wrong paths of yours, do you think I'll follow? Duh~" People always told me this ; "If you want people to respect you, 1st you have to gain their respect and show them respect 1st." But seriously, I didn't see any respect from her.

Like my uncle told me, no matter what, she's still my mother, and I can't change the fact about that. Friends and boyfriends you can choose again and again, but mother and daughter or son, it's blood connected. No doupt you can change about that. But I just hate it whenever she always made me to choice either my boyfriend or her. I'll always remain slient. Yes I might be selfish, wanting to have best out of 2. But, how can i choose? One is the love of my life whom I want to spent my life with, the other is my mother. Thing's have been going badly for me.

Make it you hate me being together with him or not, it's my choice and don't worry, I'll never and i've never regret in thing's I've done before. This is the road I've choosen, and i'll stick with it. Even if it goes hay wire, I'll never blame anyone nor the whole world. Cause this is the path I've made myself. If you love me, I'll love u back dearly as a friend. If you hate me, then I'm sorry, you may leave. I won't break with him cause of anyone nor even my mother. If you love that person, you'll want that person to be happy and giving them your blessing. Isn't it? But, anyway if you hate him, that's your choice. No offence but... I'm the one who's with him, not you. So what makes you think that I'll leave him cause of you? =)

2008-12-21T12:40:00.000-08:00

Dear Readers,
If you're still in love or still considering getting yourself into a relationship, I think by reading this it might help you out. Remember in mind to always cherish and treasure your love ones. As for me, I've found the love of my life and gonna stick by him till the last breath of mine. =)

What Is Love
Throughout the history of mankind, we as a world culture have made love out to be mysterious, complex, difficult, and undefinable. It's the subject of endless poems and literary works. There is an enormous amount of material available out there about love, a lot of it contradictory.
We've been given the impression that to define love is near to impossible. Maybe there's a fear that if we define it, it would somehow be less powerful, less impactful, less exhilarating. Maybe we like the mystery of it. But is it really that complicated? Perhaps the complications surrounding love come from all "stuff" we add on this powerful emotion. Lets drop all the baggage surrounding relationships and define what it is we are experiencing in the moment of love.

Basic Components Of Love

What do you feel when you love someone? If distilled down to its core component, what would those be? Yes, love is an emotion, a feeling, a wanting, and a "being". We know it feels good, but what specific, wantings, and beings are present when we feel love? Here are the common denominators of love ...

Love Is Accepting.

Acceptance is labeling someone as "okay" and having no particular desire to change him or her. Who they are is perfectly fine with you. You pose no condition on whether you will love them or not. This is call unconditional love. When your love IS conditional, the moment they step outside your set of conditions, love evaporates.

Love Is Appreciating.

Appreciation is one step beyond acceptance. It's when your focus is on what you like about another. We look at them and feel this like sweeping appreciation for who they are, their joy, their insights, their humour, their companionship, etc. When someone says they are "in love" with another, they mean their appreciation is so enormous for this person that it consumes their every thought.

Love Is Wanting Another To Feel Good.

We want those we love to be happy, safe, healthy, and fulfilled. We want them to feel good in all ways, physically, mentally and emotionally.

2008-12-21T09:58:00.001-08:00

locking me up again, asking me to come home early, controlling me... Isn't that what you're best at doing? Those agreements, those promises u gave me r all BULL SHITS TOO! "Ah ger do this, Ah ger do that~" Why cant just u leave me alone! And let me do whatever i want! No i don't want to go to your chalet! and guess what... YES! I'M STILL WITH WUI AND I LOVE WUI! I LOVE HIM MORE THAN I LOVE ANYONE.. IN THIS FAMILY... STOP ASKING ME TO BRK WITH HIM! STOP INTERUPTTING MY LIFE AND ASKING ME SO MANY FUCKING QUESTIONS! You said you've been young once? Since you've been young before, u know how I feel, than I believe you know what i really wants...
If it wasn't cox i don't have money, i'd have move out and stay with him long time ago!

Thought that time you asked me to move out? Thought u wanted me to leave? Then why now don't let? I'm also a human being who needs privacy too... I give you your own space and privacy then Y CANT YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! How would you feel if I keep taking your phone and invade your privacy? How would u feel if I keep calling your friends and ask them where are you or are you really going out with them? Don't tell me those bullshits cause i'm a kid and you're a adult so you can do whatever you want but yet i can't.. Why can't you just let your hands off from me and set me free?

What does family means?
Family means they could accept you for who you're and NOT CONTROLLING, not commanding people to do what they don't wish to. They'll give you the freedom do let you do thing's you wanted to... Yeah~ so what i have a bad past before? But that also didn't give you the reason to keep control me like this! How long more do you still want to control me? 3yrs? 5 yrs? I really can't stand it anymore living in this family... fuck it you did read this or not... Like i said in my blog... This is my blog... I write my feelings out... And this time... NO! all this is not from my vange of anger... I'm sick and tired...

2008-12-15T12:32:00.000-08:00

YEAH!!!! FINALLY CREATED A BLOG FOR MY FAM LE... LOL!

was totally bored after playing audition so intend to make one blog for my fam...

lol... hopefully my fam family will grow bigger n know more people... =D

do go n check it out ya.. it'x in my link...

UNWANTED ROX! =x

P.S: click on the skulls to change the theme... ^^

2008-12-12T04:51:00.000-08:00

My actions are absurd and my attitude has gradually worsen; I've been acting like an ignorant brat and not being considerate about Boyfriend's feeling. However, I'm elated that everything have simmered down at the end. My mood is swinging really badly and I am uncertain that I would be able to sustain it. Oh well, at least I knew I tried really hard to control my emotions before it gets out of hand. Lately, majority of my emotions are extremely negative; I won't be able to answer why if you ask me about it. My eyes are extremely watery and my tears would fall unknowingly. Currently, my heart is feeling all so sour out of the blues and it is merely manipulating my thoughts to think otherwise. The mind of mine has been running really wild lately and it is driving me insane. My memories abates ):

Baby and I had a slight conflict again. As per usual, I was the one who ignites the sparks between the dispute. There will never be a failure in having a misapprehensive collision each day with Boyfriend, reason being I have no idea what I'm thinking or maybe that I'm thinking way overboard and doubting things I shouldn't doubt in the first place. I have a bad feeling that something is gonna go wrong this whole week but I know I will brave through this harsh storm in my life. I have a caring boyfriend who are willing to stand by me; I am utterly contented with what I possess in my life, thus, there's nothing more to ask for than for us to be happier as each day passes by. Anyways, I have a lack of perseverance; nevertheless, I will prove with my will power that I am able to change for the better with Boyfriend. Since he is willing to change, I will too (: I love my Boyfriend and my family without any doubt, there's nothing more to ask or wish for because having them around is sufficient. I miss Boyfriend so much that my tears couldn't stop falling off my face, well maybe I exaggerate a little too overboard but still my tears are constantly falling =.=" This is crappy ):

2008-12-02T08:07:00.000-08:00

HAPPI ANNIVERSARY BABY! MUACK'X...

loving you always

2008-11-30T10:04:00.000-08:00

I drink water and her blood is what i taste.

I look in the mirror and i see her face.I dream and see her crying red tears,

I see her trying to stab away her fears.

The red fills the tub she lays in,Its happened before but i see it all again.

I hear her voice when im on the phone,I see her when im alone at home.

Red tears were on her face when she cried,Red tears covered her body when she died.

2008-11-30T09:35:00.000-08:00

I'm just a girl who's no where near perfect. I've given up my life. I'm just a totally burden.

Whatever i do, it's always wrong, people always wouldn't be satisfied with it. Afraid of saying wrong thing's, i'd rather remain slient. I hate myself. Sometimes i ask myself; " Why people going out with you, they could make you laugh, they can make u smile. But i just couldn't. Why am I so absent-minded? Why do i always have to quarrel with you? trying to be a better myself? How? i'm trying... But no one sees it. Neither can i say where i've changed. Why couldn't i be a good girlfriend that could make u feel secure being with me? Why i just couldn't make u love me like how u used to? I tried not to lie, i try not to hide ting's, i tried to be the perfect girl in your heart. But i just.... couldn't. everytime i try to find a console in you, all i heard back was the hurtful words. i may be nagging, i may be using the wrong tune to tok to you. But all i want from you is just simply one word.

Care.

I hate it everynight i have to cry whenever we quarrelled. i'm tired of crying.

I'm tired of living.

Please... tell me what could i do...

From the highest ledge of heaven, I felt your hand reach out for mine and I longed to feel the warmth of your perfumed skin held tightly against my heart; re-united with my soul.
I get the best feeling in the world when you say hi or even smile at me because I know, even if its just for a second, that I've crossed your mind. When I'm with you, the only place I want to be is closer. You will always be the answer, when somebody ask me what I'm thinking about.
The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences and mistakes and still sees the best in you. Lets commit the perfect crime. I'll steal your heart and you steal mine?
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
Up in the skies, I looked very carefully to see your face. I wonder if you're there, I wonder if tonight you're thinking of me. I just want to tell you that looking at the stars makes me think of you. By looking at it I just want to be where you are, and hold you tight and never let go. Time may take us apart, that's true, but I will always be there for you. You're in my heart, you'll be in my dreams, no matter the miles between.
What happens when he's my prince charming, but I'm not his cinderella?

2008-11-30T07:54:00.001-08:00

Mood: Emo

2008-11-26T05:16:00.000-08:00

Life has it's up and downs

I've gone through and yet to go through more

I didn't demand much, just to live happily

We lived once, but not with regrets.

Promises are not meant to be broken; that's what people emphasized

Yes, it's true. But one promise that is real is the vow that you made

Don't ever forget; what goes around comes around.

How did I get these memories? This girl is a stranger to me

And yet I see what happened to her

I see her cry and plea
This girl was murdered by a stranger

Her aura covered with fear

She screamed until her remaining breath

And her final tear I hate to watch what happened to her

But I cannot make it stop

I know she is dead, that is for sure

In my memory I see her drop

And now her thoughts lead me here

To a place that's cold and damp

I look closer, and it is the morgue

Lit by a single lamp The bodies are all lain out

Each one has been uncovered

She forces me to look at them

Not one is undiscovered I look with horror at the bodies

Every one has a story to tell
I try not to listen to the silence of the room

I force myself not to yell

This girl has brought me here for a reason

I know this for a fact

I gaze at each lifeless body

At the walls, all torn and cracked I start to leave this horrid place

The girl tells me not to be afraid

Her wishes I am to fulfill I grab the handleand pull it open I look at the girl, not wanting to flee

I understand why she brought me here

For that dead little girl is me

2008-11-20T11:35:00.000-08:00

YEAH!!!! thx baby for coming down to my work place and fetch me from work~

muackx muackx muackx!!! ^^v afterall it's been a long time since we last meet~

really misses badly n madly... =x i know i can never forget you and let you go because you're part of my memories and you're part of me.

Just simply couldn't have enough of my baby... sorry i kissed and hugged you non-stop. =x

cause don't know when is the next time we could get to see each other again... ='(

sorry baby ever since i started this new job, we could rarely have time for each other like last time le. But i really treasure every moment we had together. i'm always looking forward in seeing you again after u left everytime.

Pass few nites, lyinh on my bed looking back at those msg u used to send me before, while reading it, i started to reminisce the past we used to had and suddenly tears start to flow out from my eyes. really wish that we could stay together. so that we could get to see each other everyday. lying in your arms to sleep, playing n fooling around, accompany you cook together. so much more we could do together.

BABY! LET'S JIA YOU TOGETHER IN REACHING OUR HAPPINESS YA!

neko is trying very hard to strive very hard for it! even if it takes my life to accomplish it, i wouldn't mind. because you're all i ever needed and wanted in my life.

Till Death Do Us Part.

2008-11-18T09:05:00.000-08:00

Baby, just a few days we haven't meet, and i'm missing you badly...

Couldn't imagine my life without you by my side..

Cause it's you who makes me whole..

i'll remember everyting you told me..

i'll kept it in my heart ..

i will take every word you given me ..
every moment with you will be cherished ..

I miss every moment everytime when i lie in your arms on your bed,

the warm, sweet affection from your eyes looking at me.

Making me feel that i'm your one and only special girl in your life.

Making me feel that truly loving you was never a regret in my life before.

A part of you has grown in me , &, you see , its you & me ,

forever &never apart ..

mayb in distance, but never in our heart ..

true love is not how you forgive , but how you forget ..

not wad you see , but wad you feel ..

not how you listen, but how you understand ..

not how you let go , but how you hold on ..

true love is not about the hugs & kissess , the 'i love you' or the 'i miissyou' ,

but about the chills that hit every part of your spine when you tink bout him ..

when we love , it isn't because the person's perfect , its because we learn to see an imperfect person perfectly ..

true love doesnt just filled ur heart but overflow into ur body & soul ..

true love is sometiing you share with someone , a journey tat takes a lifetime to complete ..

i wan to be in your arms , where you hold me tight & never let me go ..

you've entered my heart , & you will be here forever ..

you make me smille when i see your face ..you make me sad when you walk away

but i always know you will turn around & say those sweet sweet words ,

well BABY ii loveyou ~

you always make me feel im the best ..

you brightened my world with the warmth for your heart ..

depressed

2008-11-13T10:57:00.000-08:00

TOTALLY MOODLESS AND

UNLUCKY DAY FOR ME!

the way i am

2008-11-06T23:41:00.000-08:00

Honeyed Smiles Turned Into Bitter Frowns;
A Heart So Warm Has Turned So Cold.
Beautiful Memories Became A Reality Nightmare,
Darkness Starts To Fall In....

The morning breeze and the cold moist air was tingling against my skin as I stepped out of the door, my nose started to sense the decrease of temperature within the air and caused me to sneeze repeatedly. My voice is still the same as bad as last night. Tell me what on Earth I am doing please, everything has a reason for it and everyone has a story to tell. Falling deep down into depression, slipping right through the darkness. The more depress I get, the more the trouble that I will get in my hands. Because of my character, we've been quarreling for upteen times. You asked me to change, I've tried not to be that muddlehead as I always am. But, this is me. Neither am i perfect. I've always been whom I am and it seems that you could not take it. Sometimes I'm thinking, why are we suffering so much? Cause of my clumsiness? Cause of my actions? Cause of all the words thats coming out from my mouth? I'm confused and getting fickleminded.

From my mother, I've learn things and know lot's of things. No matter how much trouble I've caused her, she constantly protects me with complains and lecture me with wisdom. Such loving mother I have, even though at times I just don't wish to comprehend or oblige her demands =P I love you mother, thank you for telling me how troublesome I can get. You've been always protecting me from them, you've always been protecting me every way you could. I'm sorry that I've caused so much trouble for you. I'm sorry what happen the the past few days. You had guided and teached me whenever I fell unconscious or confused about things and people. Though sometimes the things you told me, I didn't listen it into my heart and committed the same mistake again, you would still forgive me. I'm just this naive little girl who chooses to believe in everyone and get myself hurt in the end. I have no certain friends I could trust.

It's time for me to stop fooling around anymore. Right now, I guess I need motivation and inspiration for everything I do.

free spa!

2008-11-06T05:20:00.000-08:00

wuuu~ jux reach home... jux now went to luxasia with my mother to be her friend's facial model...

OMG! it's realli damnnnn good... after the aroma therpy massage n facial, i realli feel refreshed and relax now~ *Refreshed! xD

(step 1)anyway before the massage, aunty Ruth(which is my mama's friend) ask me to remove all the clothings.. *blushed. excluding the panty lar~ lol.. after that, aunty ruth apply some essential oil n help mi to massage my back 1st, at 1st it's really pain on the shoulder and spine... x.x" aunty ruth told mi that my muscle is kinda hard... gosh... tink ii niida do warm up excersice every morning ler... after the massage, aunty ruth use cleansing milk to cleanse my face, den the essential oil (which is for facial de) massage on my face too..before aunty ruth put on the mask, she put some special eye and lip mask for my eye bag and my dry lips... den she helps to apply the dehydration mask on my face~ *chillin chillin... really feel so pampered~~~ lol! waiting for the mask to dry.

(step 2)aunty ruth apply some essential blam on my tummy n rub rub rub~ *ticklish~ =x after the essential blam, aunty ruth spray some spicy lotion on her palm and start to massge on my tummy that helps to stimulate the fats ard the tummy area... after that, aunty ruth spread the mask (which she had prepare earlier) on my tummy, the mask tat contain the pepper which helps to burn off the fats and detox...(the mask look like peanut butter) =x den wrap my tummy up with a plastic paper, to wait for another 20 mins to feel the warm.. as she say it's it to burn off the fats and detox in my tummy ..
While she was doin at the same time i try to rmb what she'x doing... lol... so that next time i can help my mama or my bf to massage too~ lol...

(step 3)while waitin for the tummy wrap to work, she started to clear the mask from my face which has been harden, she started to apply some toner on my face plus some moisturiser and the eye and lip mask for my eyes and lip again. most the ppl in the rm say my nose look shinny~ lol? *blink blink*

(step 4)when the facial is done, she starts to remove the mask from my tummy with deposable tissue and warm towel... after cleaning, the last step tummy is~ the appy some moisturiser on my tummy...

finally done! then i went to wear back my clothes.. feel oily though, but it realli feel relaxing.. But not onli that~ the facial realli makes me look so fresh and clean, esp the eye and lip mask.. my eyes is not that puffy anymore and my lips are not that dry and feels so moisturies...! =D *upup for the service!

Lol~ when i was done, mummy was at there still at there enjoying away her body massage, auntie ruth did a extra special service for me....

guess what she help me~??????

guess?
-------

-----

---

c'mon~ guess again???
---------

------

-----

---

*Tada*~~~~~~~~ =3

EYE BROW SHAPING!!! xD

it's painful when she's trimming... lol... but now everyone say i look more brighter and pretty now when it's done.. =x heehee...
*tinking in mind* if have the chance again, hope to be their facial model again!!! xD lmao!

Btw, this whole body massage and facial outside are charging $250-$400 for the whole package... i'm realli lucky to experience it for free... =x if you guyx ever had a chance, you shld realli go for a try... xD

Realli enjoy my day out with my mama and her friend to the spa trainging and experience so many things... and it's worth the morning wakey~ x.x"

2008-10-29T03:23:00.000-07:00

2008-10-28T10:46:00.000-07:00

I lay here in my bed in dark

The strong singing of the wind blowing through the window,

It means he is here,Without no protest to guard me from him,

He hides away from the sunlight,And he rises at night.
Un-brace me, threw the power ,threw my dark dream.

Feeling his dark shadow of his hand flirting on my body,

Like a angry wind, Feeling his dark present had blow out candle right next to me,
He had gave me a deeply powerful kiss,

The Kiss that holds all eternally of life,

The “Kiss Of Forever Night”

2008-10-28T09:42:00.000-07:00

You'll never understand the pain, the sufferings I've gotta go through. You shut your eyes and hear me scream in pain, it was just a simple gesture to show how much you're enjoying this isn't it? The sight of my endurance against this pain was just pleasurable towards you. My sins were uncovered and the pain was excruciating (extremely painful), soon the mind was lost and my heart was filled with hatred. One's mind has turned psychotic and the heart shall follow the suit. The anger arouse from within, the scent of blood was increasing immensely. The joy to watch me suffer,the things n lies you tell everyone without a leak soon it will be filled with blood...this bloodbath was caused by you. In my eyes, there's nothing you can do to betray it any further; I shall not turn my eyes blind and cross the words of oblivious against the facts. The lord is laughing from high above, watching the sufferings of his doings.

I was once confined by naiveness, selfishness, clumsiness, stupidity and being sympathetic. There's too many contradiction, there's too many tribulation, there's too many misunderstandings that we never expected to occur. But I will not turn back to the way i am anymore. Nor am I the girl you once knew. I am down in the blues. Stop all this!! I am stuck in the fucking torture chamber of yours, I was a victim in your hands; the scent of blood on those hands disgusts me. The violence, the war I have to watch, it was simply horrible and distust me. Innocent lives were taken but why? Someone kindly explain please...STOP IT ALL ='(

Once bitten twice shy, your words are just idiotically disgusting. Just get out of my sight and my life... Some memories are best forgotten.

[Humans aren't appreciative. They tend to look things on the surface and failed to see the truth and reason behind it. Humans always judge oneself negatively than positively.]

2008-10-27T08:47:00.000-07:00

Do you have a spare face mask to lend me?

Because I said too much, now it will not eventuate

Maybe time is an antidote

What else could i do now?
Thing's i have said, it couldn't be taken back anymore.
But those that i've said is how i've feel in my heart.
Anger is just like a hairy-eyed monster, waiting for an opportunity to pounce on anyone that stands in its way.
Miscommunication became the complication in life.
Something happens at that particular time, and anger was written on my face,
and I ranted out everything towards you, but have it ever struck to you,
why this is happening? Probably in that moment of folly,
your heart is filled with sorrow, just like a knife piercing through your fragile heart,
and its cut is the deepest.
Nobody is perfect and everyone tends to err once or twice in their life,
and I believe you should know that as well.
I wish to sit down n have a gd chat with you and talk things out.
Could you lend me jux alittle of your time?

P.s: To those who keep insult my bf. please don't keep thinkin that he's a bad person and teach me bad. He's not the one who've told me to write those things. It's what really in my heart n what i wanna say it out. Don't keep label him that he's a bad person. Please don't assume things when you don't even see it. You dare to say that in the past, you were never a gangster before? You were never been through a turf time before? Before pointing on people and insulting them, please ask yourself first. Are you one of them or once before like this? Is i'm the one who choose to be with him, he's the one whom i wanna be with forever. Be it you hate him, you dislike him or disagree with us being together, no one ain't gonna get in our way. Faily problems shall settle within the family members itself. So outsiders, please do not interfere and step aside.

2008-10-25T09:40:00.000-07:00

Your insides are black

Inside you feel broken and torn

But no one looks inside you,to them your just another weight on the world

You tryed to call out but no one would listen

No one would undetstand the pain inside

The things you see, the hurt in your eyes

You try to change but never can

You could sit alone but no one would care

You were never okay on the inside

But who can blame you,you are the kid with the crappy life fighting to get by

The one thing you've always wanted was from someone to understand

To stop the labels,to look inside

But that could never happen

Because the light betrayed you and sent youdown to darkness

You never tried to find the light because soon the darkness was a part of you

Now your just another weight on the world

Fighting to get by......

one of my unforgettable day... <3

2008-10-19T09:34:00.000-07:00

17th oct

wootx! been one crazy n funny day out with baby... xD went to ps with him in the afternoon,when to catch a movie call

Painted Skin.

Mmm~ not a bad show though... but kinda realli dramatic.. ==" Anyway b4 we go catch our movie, we went to go window shoping around... Went into action city and~~~ LOL!!! guess what we saw...

LOL'X!!! DMC!! in bear version de... =x lol~ it's realli cute! and one more person whom think we all know who he is de...

make a guess???

come on come on~~~~

alrite alrite... here he is~~~ TA DANG~~!!!

Why so serious??? LOL'X... JOKER!!! baby find it cute n nice... haiix... too bad cant buy arbo mayb can buy and give him as a surprise... =x op'x.... pretend i diin say anything... xD lalala'x~

Thx baby kame.... muack'x~~~ realli enjoy myself today.... kyU~~~ =3 muack'x... hope baby kame oso enjoyed himself today... love u always!

2008-10-18T08:51:00.000-07:00

When I say I love, sometimes those words don't explain, so much you do for me
Can't picture a day without your face, I'm always seein wonderful moment when you're next to me
Sometimes boy I can't breathe, Boy swear you'll never leave

My love will never change, it will always be this way
We'll always be the same, and they can't take that away
We can run away, our love will lead the way
So we'll just let them hate cause they can't stop us
We can't stop what people wanna think about us, but neither can they step into our live
People around us might b gossip there might b obstacles that will try to stop us being together, but it ain't dun matter to me, cause i got you.

I will never try to deny, that you're my whole life, 'cause if you ever let me go, I would die.
I don't need another man. I just need your all and nothing.
No matter how far, how long, whether hugging in the heavens
or the wilderness. I love you; I dare to go
Not knowing what the future beholds. I love you; I'm willing
to let you decide everything.

Being with him is my decision, n loving him is my fate. No one's gonna get in our way.

2008-10-16T13:33:00.001-07:00

SEX: Morning vs. Evening

Some people like morning sex better than evening sex - it's an ongoing debate that I could talk about all day long. It all boils down to personal preferences.

Morning Sex
Pros: -

It's relaxing and fun way to wake up [so much better than an alarm clock].
Since your mind and body are still sleepy and dreamy, all physical sensations will feel more intense.
Since it's a workout, all those released endorphins are way better than a coffee!
Cons: -

Since there's not much time for foreplay, morning sex usually just ends up being a quickie, and which can leave you sexually frustrated and late for work.
Since many women feel self-conscious about what they look like, the morning light might be a deterrent.
Morning breath is not the biggest turn on.
If you're not a morning person, you may be too tired and cranky to want to have sex.

Evening Sex
Pros: -

It's a great way to end your day with a smile.
Since you don't have to get to work until the morning, you won't feel rushed.
Night time is the perfect time to light some candles and create a sexy mood.
All that hard work will tire you out so you can fall asleep more easily.

Cons: -

You may be too tired or stressed out from working all day to really get in the mood.
Sometimes getting your heart pumping can make it hard to fall asleep.
If your sex escapade lasts late into the night you're sure to be exhausted the next day.

2008-10-16T08:05:00.000-07:00

Finally made the decision, I won't listen to what other people say
As long as you are also just as certain
I'm willing to follow you to the end of the earth
I know it all won't be easy
My heart is always brushing up on convincing itself
I'm most afraid that you'll suddenly say you want to give up

Love really needs courage to face gossip and rumors
As long as certainly is expressed in your eyes, my love has meaning
We all need courage to believe we'll be together
In a crowded stream of people I can feel you
Putting your sincerity into my hands

If i ever hurt u u in any way,
Can you gently remind me? Although i'm too soft hearted n gets hurt easily

sorry for all the hurts i've caused you...

2008-10-14T07:20:00.000-07:00

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of good or bad luck. Illness, injury, lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity. All occur to test the limits of your soul. Without these small test, if they be events, illness or relationships, life would be like a smooth paved, straight, flat road to nowhere.

If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them. For they have helped you learn about trust, and the importance of being cautious to who you open your heart too.

If someone love you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but because they are teaching you to love and opening your heart and eyes to things that you would have never seen or felt without them.

Make everyday count. Appreciate every moment, and take from it everything you possibly can, for you may never be to experience it again.

Talk to people you have never talked to before, and actually listen. Hold your head up, because you have the right too. Tell yourself you are a great individual and believe in yourself. For if you don't believe in yourself, no one else will believe in you either.

You can make of your life anything you wish, create your own life and then go out and live it.

2008-10-12T14:17:00.000-07:00

phew~ finally reached home le! meow~ =3 jux nw went to baby'x grandpa'x song ka.. x.x P.s: rest in peace@~@"

as for work today... was workin in the mornin den suddenly a ah neh came in n wanna buy a hair pin.

He said:"i goin to get this hairpin 1st n bring home let my wife see. i deposit the money here, if my wife doesn't like it, i'll come back n take the money."

I replied:"sorry sir, but u cant deposit money over here.. if you wan u buy this hair pain. if you wan, you can come back n change it to another item. but we cant return you the money."

And~ he jux keep pushin the money to mi n talking ting'x which i cant realli understand in the end he jux rush off... x.x"

when knocked off, i went to miit my baby, in the end Joyce mei cor mi n suddenly say that the ah neh came back arguin the refund... T_T' (WTF~)

my words to the stupid ah neh... please listen to what prople say in the 1st place before comin n anyhow scold ppL! x.x roar! *Sayang mei~ x33

finally done!

2008-10-11T02:13:00.000-07:00

phew! finally done with my blog le... x.x now it'x already goin to b 3! omg gonna be late for my work tml... ==" anyway rmb to tag mi yo! n link miie...! i'll post my blogin friendster soon so hope those who got link mi de let mi noe so so i can link u back too^^ nitey nite! *cuddle into bed~~~